Ahh, this time of year!

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! ~ Charles Dickens

The Christmas memories that flood back on me are the ones where family is involved. One Christmas, when Madison was a little nipper, she was cast as a lamb for a nativity play the kids and adults were putting on. The shepherd who was holding her, I was not cast as her shepherd and neither was Rachel, was a little to close to the microphone so she thought it would be a good idea to grab it and say the word we taught her. So, instead of the wonderful story of the birth of Jesus, all anyone heard for a short while was, "BAAA, BAAA, BAAA!!!!" It echoed through the auditorium and caused a good amount of laughter! There are many memories good and bad from various Holidays. I remember as a kid, one Christmas all I got was: socks, underwear, a promise of $5, and a book. I was so angry with my parents and grandparent! I went and hid and pitched a small fit! Cried and griped all the rest of the day... Big ol' whiney time... The next day after I had made everyone have a rotten Christmas, I was sitting for some enforced "quiet time". (Needless to say, I was not sitting with Comfort and Joy. Had to ride that chair side saddle till the redness went down.) The book that was given to me as a gift was dropped on my lap and I was told all I could do was read. Funny thing, that book is still one of my favorites after 20 something years.

Maybe it's nostalgia that gets me thinking all the thoughts of old family times around the holiday season.  Perhaps it's the 1700+ miles I'm away from my family this time of year.  It might be all the already hyped up Christmas specials many of which deal with loss and then redemption.  There is no telling why this season brings up all the feelings that it does, like it does.  So, in honor of all the good, deep feelings and memories of Christmas, Thanksgiving, and all the nostalgic days in between, We want to say THANK YOU for being our family.  The Westside Family has been so loving and accepting of the six of us.  We have been very blessed in our short time here! 

Had to put this in here, it's tradition!

God works in such amazing ways. He is so good. The story about where we were and how we came to be here is something Hollywood couldn't have dreamed up. God took so many people out of their usual way of life and decided it was time for them to be or go where He wanted them to go. Abram, father of the Jewish people, had a really good life and was a very well off tribal leader when God said, "let's go!" Moses was doing well in the palace for nearly 40 years when God said, "c'mon Moses." David was tending sheep when Samuel called him out of the pasture and said, "you are going to be king." The judges of Israel, various kings and queens, most all of the prophets were called out of where they had been to something so much better.  Even though we are not "Bible Heroes", God has brought us here to be in fellowship.  We are looking forward to deepening our relationships with you all and being here for you in whatever ways we can be.  May God bless and continue to bless us as we live and work here together!  Have a great day!!!

Parenting at its finest! I think...

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
~Erma Bombeck

 












We all do our best as often as we can.  We are not perfect and, Lord willing, don't claim to be.  This post is to give all the parents out there hope and a good laugh at ourselves.  We share our struggles in many different ways.  The rolling of the eyes, the discreet nods of agreement, the look of, "I'm so sorry because I understand why your kid is screaming bloody murder in the cereal aisle".  Parents have the hardest job on the planet.  Bar none.  The job of a parent is to: spend thousands of dollars raising one child (According to CNN Money, $235,000 by the time they turn 18 per kid, middle income family 2012 report), change hundreds if not thousands of diapers, constantly clean the entire house, drive to all 4,365 different sporting events, learn how to play every board game on the market, give up time and wants for theirs (Parent Rap, funny song), don't do as much with our friends without at least 2 months advance planning and subterfuge, and many other things you are probably thinking about right now. 

Our kids see the best and worst sides of us.  They know when to stay away and when to attack!  They know us sometimes better than we know ourselves!  They know we aren't perfect and honestly don't expect us to be.  Kids are very strange little critters...  They accept us regardless of our issues.  Funny thing is, we don't feel anyone else accepts us.  Parental pressure is present practically permenantly.  In-Laws in many households is a curse word.  So many parents believe that everyone is looking and judging them and their children.  It's like an initiative from the CIA, FBI, and NSA to sneak up and film everything you do with your kids.  Moreover, it is satan's goal to get us to feel like we cannot do it and don't have what it takes to be successful parents.  If this has ever happened to you, raise your hand.  I can see you through your camera on your computer because I have been spying on your parenting, so be honest!  ;-)  It is ok to struggle as long as you don't give up or give in!  The only thing about struggle I would recommend is, DON'T DO IT BY YOURSELF!!!  Get help with your kiddos from someone else you trust.  Get help from a professional you trust.  If you trust your parents or In-L**s, ask them for help.  Read a good recommended book on parenting and discuss it with your spouse.  Satan will try to give you miscues about who is trustworthy and who is not.  Pray.  Pray.  Pray.  As MC Hammer said, "you've got to pray just to make it today!"  It's true too.  Once you find that trustworthy person, or God shows you one, open up.  If they are a really trustworthy person, they will know and understand what is going on and they will be able to help.  I can guarantee we all struggle.  Without a doubt, 100% of us do.  It is high time we get over ourselves and walls we have created in our lives.  Mom's and Dad's for generations have had issues with kids.  You and I are not alone and never have been!  Let's work together on this business!  Let's create an atmosphere and community of love and Godliness so our children can pass on those same two qualities to our decendants. 

Epic. Parenting. Fail.

Don't compare yourself with other parents.  Please don't compare yourself with celebrity parents!  God made it pretty clear that we would each be accountable for our own life.  Do your best and don't be afraid or ashamed to get help when you need it.  Get someone you can decompress with.  Pray and destress in good, healthy ways.  It will help the parenting seem manageable and blessed.  Watch for satan trying to feed you bad fruit in your parenting.  "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit." Luke 6:43  If a thought or feeling is from God, it is good.  If a thought or feeling causes you to be tempted to feel you are bad or inadequate, it is from satan.

Parenting is a very difficult job.  Mom's and Dad's have their own difficulties and rewards.  Work together and with others to succeed with your parenting!  Here is two videos that are highly descriptive of being a Mom or a Dad. Good Laugh! 

Mom Song     Dad Song

I hope and pray you have a very blessed day!  Email me if you need anything or call!  Blessings!
 

Thankfulness

Following is the story of the first Fall Feast/Thanksgiving.  In all the pictures we see of the first Thanksgiving, there is usually a large group of people gathered around a large table with loads of food on it.  We rarely hear of the heart breaking deaths and diseases that happened wiping out half of the original group. 

Thanksgiving at Plymouth

In September 1620, a small ship called the Mayflower left Plymouth, England, carrying 102 passengers—an assortment of religious separatists seeking a new home where they could freely practice their faith and other individuals lured by the promise of prosperity and land ownership in the New World. After a treacherous and uncomfortable crossing that lasted 66 days, they dropped anchor near the tip of Cape Cod, far north of their intended destination at the mouth of the Hudson River. One month later, the Mayflower crossed Massachusetts Bay, where the Pilgrims, as they are now commonly known, began the work of establishing a village at Plymouth.

Throughout that first brutal winter, most of the colonists remained on board the ship, where they suffered from exposure, scurvy and outbreaks of contagious disease. Only half of the Mayflower’s original passengers and crew lived to see their first New England spring. In March, the remaining settlers moved ashore, where they received an astonishing visit from an Abenaki Indian who greeted them in English. Several days later, he returned with another Native American, Squanto, a member of the Pawtuxet tribe who had been kidnapped by an English sea captain and sold into slavery before escaping to London and returning to his homeland on an exploratory expedition. Squanto taught the Pilgrims, weakened by malnutrition and illness, how to cultivate corn, extract sap from maple trees, catch fish in the rivers and avoid poisonous plants. He also helped the settlers forge an alliance with the Wampanoag, a local tribe, which would endure for more than 50 years and tragically remains one of the sole examples of harmony between European colonists and Native Americans.

In November 1621, after the Pilgrims’ first corn harvest proved successful, Governor William Bradford organized a celebratory feast and invited a group of the fledgling colony’s Native American allies, including the Wampanoag chief Massasoit. Now remembered as American’s “first Thanksgiving”—although the Pilgrims themselves may not have used the term at the time—the festival lasted for three days. While no record exists of the historic banquet’s exact menu, the Pilgrim chronicler Edward Winslow wrote in his journal that Governor Bradford sent four men on a “fowling” mission in preparation for the event, and that the Wampanoag guests arrived bearing five deer. Historians have suggested that many of the dishes were likely prepared using traditional Native American spices and cooking methods. Because the Pilgrims had no oven and the Mayflower’s sugar supply had dwindled by the fall of 1621, the meal did not feature pies, cakes or other desserts, which have become a hallmark of contemporary celebrations

What We Have to be Thankful for!

First off, and I mean this as humorous as I possibly can, I'm thankful I don't live in Massachusetts...  I have been up there many times and love the people, but I am so thankful I don't live up there.  God has blessed us all incredibly in the 391 years since the first Thanksgiving feast.  Our life expectancey is higher than back then and is not in direct correlation to the local bear and wolf population.  We live in places without dirt for floors.  If we run out of sugar, we may complain for a bit and then hop in our car/truck/SUV/minivan and get some from the local grocery store.  Or, better yet, have them deliver it to us via internet order.  Our lives have been so blessed by God that sometimes through all the gifts He has given, we all get complacent and forgetful for our HUGE bunch of blessings! 

For tomorrow, click here for a starter list of things to be thankful for!  Most of all, be thankful to God for your blessings.  There are things going on in each of our lives that stress us out.  Jobs, marriage issues, kids, money problems, etc...  Look for the small blessings and use those as a foundation to build your thankfulness on.  Keep on building from there and teach your kids through your own thankfulness how to be grateful for all they have been given.  May God bless you deeply this season with all the richness of His love!  Have a Happy Thanksgiving 2012!

Crumb Grabbers and Ankle Biters

This post is going to be short and sweet, ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT!  Ok, that's all there is to know...  Have a great day!

Just kidding... 

There happens to be approximately 874 billion ways to raise children.  Give or take a trillion or so.  Every book you read is the correct way to raise them, discipline them, feed them, care for them, etc...  Every parent has a sense of what their child is like.  What motivates them (money, punishment, stuff, time, etc.) to do what they should or should not do is generally different per kid.  I have 4 kids.  They did not come from the stork or a cabbage patch.  They are not "cookie cutter" kids.  They have completely different personalities, wants, needs, loves, ways to be loved, favorite sports, favorite teams, colors, soap scent preferences, what color the sky is...  Suffice it to say, they differ a bit. 

So why did God bless us with 4 kids of such differing personalities?  Some of you may have guessed because of His great sense of humor.  Not a bad guess.  That may ring true some days more than others.   

So, how do we love and raise our kids in a changing world?  How do we guide them through the "shark infested waters"?  What do we do to teach them about and what do we shelter them from?  With the way the world seem to be going sometimes, I would like to lock my kids in a bunker with no television service of any kind except for the occasional VeggieTales.  Bill Cosby said on child rearing, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out and make another one that looks just like you!"  But since that is not really an option, what do we do? 

 

We have to pray.  God calls Himself Father for a reason.  He did a good job too!  In the days of Roman occupation of Israel, even with all the debauchery and craziness, He raised a perfect son.  He sent Jesus at just the right time, to just the right people, in just the right place, and raised Him to be just the right man.  So, I think we can learn from God on this one.  Pray for every aspect of your parenting.  Pray for everyone who your child comes in contact with.  Pray for their future spouses (this one scares me half to death).  Pray for their choices that will come before them. Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

There will be many times of indecision when it comes to raising our kiddos.  Satan works like that.  He tempts us to lose focus and forget to pray.  We need to guide our kids in the various ways God shows us.  He will answer when we ask Him for help in any situation regarding our kids or anything else.  He said, For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  Sounds like He's available.

Two rules I know from being a parent.  No one is a perfect parent here on earth.  All kids will mess up.  The difference is we do our best and if we mess up, we make a comeback and keep trying.  God is there for us when we make our mistakes in life and in parenting.  Don't ever be afraid to ask for help.  We try our best, do the best we know how, fall down, mess up, and ask God and others for help.  We need to help and be available for each other.  Be open and honest with our common struggles and help each other back up.  When we help and support each other, life gets easier to deal with.

Hope this post was not too convoluded.  This subject has been written and discussed since kids were first around.  I hope this post gives you Hope, Help, and a Blessing.  Try to make time to pray with and for your children as soon as possible.  Start something new if you don't yet.  May you and yours have a blessed day!

The Foundation



 

So, what does "The Foundation" mean?  It means we are going to begin from the beginning...  What does it take to build up a strong foundation at church?  Strong Families.  

Here is a link to a current story about Georgia Head Football Coach, Mark Richt. Click Here  Coach Richt has built his career on his faith and how it intertwines with being a head coach. He is not afraid to live it out in a place where SEC Football is a religion. He is very open about his faith and how using it has helped him build a successful team over the last 12 years.

There is a lot that goes into the foundation of building a strong house.  As the picture shows above, there are many materials and steps to go through to get a strong, sturdy, lasting foundation.  If any of the materials or steps are overlooked in the laying of the foundation, you can expect weakness to show up.  It may not happen for years, but when it does, it can topple the whole house at a moments notice.

 

Sounds a lot like the kids song, "The wise man built his house upon the rock..."  If it's not built right, it isn't going to stand up to whatever blows against it.  By strengthening our families, we strengthen our foundation.

The main foundation, in a family, starts with the parents.  Dad and Mom are the two most important beings in a kid's life.  They have the most influence for good or bad on their children.  It is not their surroundings that always makes the difference, it is what they experience at home.  Kids have a strange 6th sense when it comes to issues and problems in a family. They are like a serious OCD home inspector who looks in every nook and cranny for flaws or weakness in their family. If there is one, you can bet your kiddo is going to expose it. Kids are very honest like that at times.  If there is a flaw in our Rachel and my marriage, you can bet the kids are going to know.  Not that we don't discuss things in front of them, but they sense what is going on and if there is frustration between us.  Sometimes they will act out (in their own loving way) to see if their going off their nut will help bring us together.  If you have been at odds with your spouse lately, check and see if the kids are acting up.  Sometimes, kids just have to test the boundries and make sure they are still there, that's natural.  Once the boundry has been tested as secure, they more than likely settle down unless their is another boundry they need to check.  Rachel and I (here comes my really sarcastic saying for this post) love this time of testing.  Keeps us on our toes and heightens our nerves and senses to razor sharp keeness......  Yes, we hate it too...  But, we do need to check our marriage and see how we are doing to make sure that is not what is going on with our doodlebritches kid, because it may be us.  

More on this subject later and next week on Wednesday night, we will be beginning a video and discussion series on marriage.  Thanks for your time on this post and may God bless your week! 

Legacy

Legacy



 

In the last two weeks, I have had three important people in my life pass on to their rewards.  They left huge legacies in their own right but in different ways.  They all lived good long lives and left huge holes in a lot of hearts.  As always, it sparked a thought I'd like to share. 

                        

What Legacy are we leaving our family, friends, and the church? The last couple of weeks we have discussed communication in our families and church. As much as this is for us, it is also for the future generations of our family and church. The things we do now are going to echo in eternity and possibly affect someone outside the church to their benefit or detriment. 

 

One of the people who died was my Great Uncle.  His legacy was one of being a good provider for his family.  He was worth millions of dollars when he passed away at 103 years old.  He had lots of businesses all over the central valley and was very well respected.  But, at his funeral, there was maybe 50-60 people there.  His family was arguing and having issues over the inheritance.  He had been divorced and remarried 3 times and his kids and grandkids were following in his footsteps.  They are all good with money, and most all bad with marriage and family. 

 

Another who passed on was a music teacher at Harding.  She taught hundreds of people how to sing better.  At her funeral, there were hundreds of people in attendance and many of her former students sang together for her.  She touched so many people's lives, and from there, they went out with the same spirit and did the same.  She was one of the sweetest, kindest ladies who ever graced the earth.  Her legacy is one of deep conviction and love for God.

Several years ago a story was told about a men’s prison that provided free Mother’s Day cards to inmates who wanted to send cards to their moms. 

"Nearly all the inmates asked for a card and sent it to someone they called “mom.” It may have been their mom, someone else’s mom, their grandmother, etc.
Even so, they sent it to a woman they saw as the woman who cared for them, raised them, stayed with them, and was there for them.
Mother’s Day was so successful, the prison administration decided to build on that success, offering free Father’s Day cards. They were shocked when hardly any inmates showed up to get a free card to send to their father.
Sadly, this confirmed what statistics had shown—90 percent of incarcerated men lacked a loving relationship with their father or someone they could identify as their father figure.”       ~ Craig Bosley

Sad story to put in here, but a sobering one too!  We deeply affect our kids in every way, everyday.  Exodus 20:5-6 ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.  (my highlighting)

 

What we do now for our kids and church family will be felt years down the road.  Who knows what our kids will do to affect and teach our grandkids and even farther down the generation?  We have such great opportunity to make an eternal impact on our kids and church!  Class has been going great with great discussion.  Try to take as much time as you are able and invest it in someone's life.  It can bring great, rich dividends that you may not ever know.  But it will make a difference!

 

"A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.

 

She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

 

The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied,

 

“Well, I made a difference to that one!”

 

The old man looked at the girl inquisitively and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.

 

~ adapted from the Star Thrower by Loren C. Eiseley

 

Sorry it's such a long post today, but I had to make up for last week!  Thanks for your patience and for being such a blessing to me!  May God bless you today and always in whatever way He feels necessary as you bless and teach the next generation. 

Communication?

"Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn't listening." - Emma Thompson

This post may be a knee jerk reaction to what has happened lately, but I believe it is very meaningful and relevant to what we are talking about in class on Wednesday. 

Here in the past week, I found out some of my friends have split up.  They have filed for divorce and are both hurting immensely.  I have know this couple for 17 years and considered them some of my better friends.  It makes me sick to my stomach that I never knew anything about it.  I guess I expected them to come and talk to me about their issues if they had any.  

Some of this is coming as a revelation to me.  It made me physically ill when I found out my friends were splitting up.  I never asked anything but "surfacey" questions.  Things such as, "How's the weather out where you are?", "How's Work?", or "What's been going on lately?"  These deep, awe inspiring, thought provoking questions come to mind of things that I asked to keep a relationship "going".  Would you ask your husband or wife those things and expect to keep a good healthy relationship?  Not at all!  If we are to be about relationship with the Father, how are we modeling that in our lives with our Family or Friends?  There are many passages in scripture about fellowship, friendship, together, family etc... that God may have been dropping a STRONG hint.  He wants us to be with each other and helping each other out in every way we are gifted.  To use our gifts and blessings to help others out where they are not as gifted.  The different parts of the body are discussed in 1 Corinthians 12.  Just because you may not feel as gifted or as needed as someone else, you still have a ton you can contribute to someone else's life! 

I had a Professor in grad school say to me after a particularly bad session I had just had in therapy with a couple that he had been watching on closed monitor.  "Jeremy, there are some things we know we are not good at, will never be good at, and should have never even tried.  I have been watching you and I realize something you will never be good at."  At this point I was pretty much in tears thinking I was the world's sorriest therapist and should immediately quit and never listen to another problem or dispense advice.  He continued, "You should never be... a horse jockey."  I was stunned and my depression turned to laughter!  "Jeremy, you are just starting this new path and don't have any idea what it looks like to do it.  Give yourself time and keep developing your talents to become the best you can be at what God made you to be."  This story comes down to, don't sell yourself short!  Satan will do that enough for you!  Try to be with each other and in each other's lives!  Doing this for your family and for the family at church will make a huge difference in the life of someone you may or may not even know yet.  You are making a huge impact for eternity by being in someone's life and blessing them!  If you are not a member of a small group on Sunday nights, I encourage you to join one and share your life with them. 

Acts 2:42-47 
⁴² They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³ Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶ Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing."  

- Rollo May

Beginning the Journey...

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Lao Tzu

 

 

We are at a very important beginning with a lot of things changing in our Family and Building.  This quote is very applicable because it talks about the beginning of a journey. 

 

At the beginning of most tasks, there are a million different things which seem like they need to be attended to.  If you have ever gone on an extended vacation with children, you know exactly what that means.  Cups, clothes, swimsuits, diapers, pillows, things to occupy them (so the "are we there yet" comes much later in the trip), your own clothes and toiletries, map/gps, ad infinitum...  What happens if one or some of these items are left out?  Such as a sippy cup?  WAAAAAAA!!!!!!  Little things just became a much bigger deal! 

 

What are you doing to help your family today?  Little things.  Drop a note in your kids lunch telling them how much you love them.  Do the dishes.  Read a story to your kids.  Send a letter of encouragement to your favorite Family member/teacher/elder/friend.  Bless someone's day!  In the financial world, putting a little money in at the beginning of a good investment makes big rewards later.  Do something for someone else, "because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether slave or free." (Eph. 6:8)

 

Since we are at the first steps in this journey together, every little thing you can do to help would be very appreciated!