Things we don't hear often enough...

You have got what it takes to succeed!  Reader, we don't hear this truth often enough.

God gives us everything we need to win!  Absolutely everything!  Now, with that being said, is life easy?  Is parenting easy?  Is marriage easy?  No three times.  Did anyone ever tell you, "life will be easy?"  They were selling something.  Probably a self help book or a Sham-Wow.  God really tried to make the path simple for us to follow.  

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

That verse sounds easy.  Anyone else found parenting to be the easiest job ever?  I was a vat washer in a meat packing plant.  9 hours a day, 6 days a week of washing some of the biggest, nastiest, metal vats.  100+ degrees F in there due to the high powered super hot water and chemical hoses.  Stinky, sweaty, and overall the second hardest job I've ever done.  

Parenting is a constant reminder that God has a sense of humor but trusts us to do what is right.  What kind of encouragement does God give us? Keep trying! (Isaiah 41:10) Don't Quit! (Isaiah 40:29) You can do it! (Philippians 4:16) God is our BIGGEST fan!  He wants us to succeed and see us joyful! So much so that He gives us strength for the journey whenever we need it. 

Life is going to be tough due to the enemy trying to steal, kill, and destroy us. (John 10:10) He tries to devour us and take us out. (I Peter 5:8) He also tries to take out our children, early and often.  We do them a disservice by not preparing them for the battles ahead.  Teach them how to "Stand" (Ephesians 6:11&13)  and how to fight.  (14-18)  

Teach them in the end, God wins!  (Revelation 20:10)  Teach them that Real Love never fails! (I Corinthians 13:1-8)  And teach them that, just like their Mommy and Daddy, they have what it takes to succeed!

May God bless you and yours tomorrow on Thanksgiving and for many years to come!

Be authentic

This is a semi-easy one to write today!  This touches my heart quite a bit because it means hard choices have to be made.  What is it that makes your life worthwhile?  Is it the corporate ladder?  Is it the pursuit of money?  Or, is it your family and doing what inspires you?  Patrick Mead shared an excellent point on his blog last week.  What we cannot move is our god.  We put things in order of importance and subscribe to them totally.  I was told a goodly while back by a great brother that a solid definition of lust is "whatever gets between you and God."  Lust of money, lust of job, lust of women/men.  Whatever gets between you and taking care of the blessings (i.e. your family) God has given you, is just not worth it.  John 14:1 "Don't let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me."  Many things come up to distract or divide us.  What gets in your way of seeing what is most important?  Where is your time and energy spent the most?  If it is in pursuit of things that won't last, maybe it's time to rethink some strategies!  May God bless!

Giving Up

Giving up even an ounce of precious freedom is a very serious thing to do.  

- Charles Schumer

Very rarely does anyone want to give up anything.  Control, money, power, house, cars, life, time, job, vacation, etc...  Giving something up for another means, "I don't have as much as I did and that makes me less of a person!"  This seems serious...

So what does the verse mean in Ephesians 5:25?  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..."  I believe it means to give without expecting anything in return.  Jesus went and died for us knowing all the while He would be rejected.  

So, what does that mean for us husbands?  It means we lay down our lives for our wives.  We lay down our "stuff".  Newspaper, remote/clicker, ipad, ipod, iphone, laptop, internet, and dare I say it...  Sports?  (Yup, I dared)   Offer your love, strength, and presence to her.  

It is one of the most difficult things to give up.  It's not in our nature to "quit".  We don't hear it from our old grizzled football coaches, bosses, or non-old grizzled football coaches.  The media and our culture certainly tells us to not give an inch because everyone will take a mile from you. 

You have to ask yourself the question, "How important is this to me?"  Is my wife worth the time and effort it will take from me?  I "need" to relax.  I have been at work all day and she has been home playing with the kids.  I guess I can invest some of myself and time before the game comes on.  Maybe if I wash the dishes or wipe off the counter top  she'll want to do a little something after the kids are down!  

Seem familiar?  If your relationship is this one sided, perhaps an overhaul is in order.  You aren't thinking of your wife.  I'm just as guilty of this thinking as anyone.

We shouldn't be about what we can get, but what we can give.  God designed us as a perfect match with the woman.  Two halves of God's personality, made in His image.  Honestly, if we laid down our "stuff" for her, most of our wives would faint or wonder if our new medication has side effects.  

Just for today, to start slow, try and be like Christ.  Look outside your wants and at your wife. Then ask yourself a simple question, "How can I give my life for you today?"  See what changes will happen in your heart and hers.  Give your life for hers today without thinking what is in it for you.  

Making a Come Back

There's a good thing about hitting rock bottom.  It forces you to make a choice.  Stay and die, or get up and climb.  When you hear about "Making a Come Back", it is generally about a sports team that was down by a seemingly insurmountable number of points. Your back is to the wall and it's time to make a decision to either throw in the towel, or commit to going all out and fighting for the win.  Cue the story of the Prodigal Son.

Or, call it The Story of Us.  

We start off with great intentions.  Freedom, Fun, Fantasy!  The promise of adventure and good times! We get so caught up on our own wants, we forget about everything else...  

This story resonates throughout scripture.  How about the very first story about people.  Adam and Eve were in perfect harmony and relationship with God.  They walked and talked with their Father on a consistent basis. Then they believed a snake and literally all hell broke loose on us.  Lost their home, their freedom, their longevity, their innocence, and worst, their relationship with their Father.  

The Israelites have a story that reads like a novel written on a rolodex.  It just keeps going around and around and is the same every time.  They were given a land that was very lush and beautiful.  When they followed God, He fed them, took care of their needs, protected them, and they won every battle.  When they didn't have God and followed their own desires, they lost it all to various raiders and nations.  He had to constantly send someone to rescue them.  Einstein's definition of insanity is a great description here.  

Or from the old Disney cartoons.  When Pinocchio meets up with Lampwick, his mind gets filled with the idea that his current life isn't enough. He should be having more fun!  He's being oppressed!  What you have isn't good enough!  Go somewhere where anything goes!  But, what happens in the end? They literally became jackasses.  (Walt Disney's words, not mine) Their life of fun and leisure came with a price they weren't expecting to have to pay.

The Prodigal Son is a great example of us.  We have a choice to make.  When he had hit rock bottom and had nothing to live for, he made a choice, to come back.  He came back to his father.  He was willing to come back in whatever capacity his dad would accept him.  He was bone tired, starving, and weary of doing it his way.  As most all of us have learned in one way or another, our way doesn't work. Life isn't Burger King.  If we are very domineering and don't listen, we can expect very messy relationships.  If we "jump off the bridge" (yup, the same one our parents always warned us about), then we can expect to get hurt.  But, we will have done it our way.  A parallel to the Prodigal son with our life. We do things 100% our way and eventually, we will be very much alone.  

Our stories would be depressing and awful if that's where they ended.  In a pig sty, wasting away with no hope and no future.  One of the powerful things in the story is the son's choice.  He decides to come back home.  

He turns his life around by choice. He knew it wasn't going to be easy. He knew he would have to face his father.  He rehearsed his speech the whole way home in shame, but he knew what he had to do to get away from where he was. Ephesians 2:1-7 shows us this.  We make a come back and God is waiting on us.  In the story, the father is looking and waiting constantly for his son to return. He doesn't run after him, nor does he send spies to check when he messes up.  He waits for him to make the choice to come back.  And when he does, what does the story say?  He RAN! Gathered his robes up and took off as fast as his old feet would carry him!  Didn't want to hear explanations, didn't want anything but to hold his son who he thought was dead. He didn't care about his son's past sin and separation, He cared about his son.

So, what's the moral of the story?  It's up to you to fight for the come back!  There is hope for a win!  There is happy endings to the worst of stories!  Dad is waiting!  Scanning the horizon for any sign that He needs to get on His track shoes and take off down the dusty road toward you! We are the lost son and it's past time to get found. He cares about you and wants you no matter where you are in your life or sin right now.  Dad's Love is waiting!

Dear Past,

I would like to thank you for making me the person I am right now, today.  Thank you for the hard times that have made me motivated to change you.  All the times you were seeking to define me, I craved something better.  You have shaped me into what I am at the moment, but God told me He has had better plans for me all along! 

Since I am going to follow God now, I won't be needing you to call, talk, write, or remind me you are around.  Don't bother using old friends, acquaintances, or family members to have me believe you are still a major player in my life.  God has said He will walk with me by my side for the rest of my journey. 

 Yes, we had some very good times!  We spent many nights staying up late eating and watching movies!  Times in college with friends that were amazing and hilarious!  Ski trips, mission trips, wedding, children being born, etc...  My life is very well known to you.  But, you never let me look at my future because you wanted me to dwell with you constantly.  At times, to be honest, you were suffocating me.  You have held me back. 

From now on, you will be nothing more to me than a foundation.  I have built my life with you, but I don't have to see you or think about you constantly.  I will build on top of you something better.  Something grander by far than you would have led me to believe was possible.  When I was young and you didn't influence me very much, I had dreams!  I wanted to be strong and dangerous!  I wanted to sail stormy seas!  Ride the range with a six gun and a belt full of bullets!  I made a mistake and let you steal those dreams from me.  My bad.  It won't happen again.  You don't own me anymore.

Day by day, you will have a smaller impact on me. Little by little, I will be forgetting you. Step by step, you will not weigh as heavy chains on me. Inch by inch, I will leave you behind. Writing this, I feel you slowly dissapating from my memory.

God has shown me a bright future of beauty, strength, love, danger, and FREEDOM!  Freedom from you.  I am not defined by you, my past.  No more will I be called fat, dumb, worthless, slow, stupid, or any other reality defining words.  I am defined by my Father who calls me an heir, a son, His precious child, a warrior, a winner, strong, redeemed, holy.  He said He loves me.  I have no reason to doubt Him. 

Well Past, I'd like to say it's been great, but greatness is to come.  You've been adequate at best.  My Father has promised me eternity in paradise!  I'll see you around every now and then, but don't expect me to acknowledge you anymore.  We are through!  I'm pressing on to the goal!  (Philippians 3:14) 

With all Sincerity and Promise,
Me

Life's Direction

It was to the most religious people of his time that Jesus spoke his strongest warnings about a loss of heart.

It is tragic for any person to lose touch with the life of their heart but especially so for those of us who once heard the call in our heart and recognized it as the voice of Jesus of Nazareth. We may remember him inviting us to a life of beauty, intimacy, and adventure that we thought was lost. For others of us, when he called, it felt for the first time in our lives as if our heart had finally found a home. We responded in faith, in hope, and in love and began the journey we call the Christian life. Each day seemed a new adventure as we rediscovered the world with God by our side.

 

But for many of us, the waves of first love ebbed away in the whirlwind of Christian service and activity, and we began to lose the Romance. Our faith began to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life promised us by Christ.

 

We moved our spiritual life into the outer world of activity, and internally we drifted. We sensed that something was wrong, and we perhaps tried to fix it—by tinkering with our outer life. We tried the latest spiritual fad, or a new church, or simply redoubled our commitment to make faith work. Still, we found ourselves weary, jaded, or simply bored. Others of us immersed ourselves in busyness without really asking where all the activity was headed. At one point in my own spiritual pilgrimage, I stopped to ask myself this question: "What is it that I am supposed to be doing to live the spiritual life in any way that is both truthful and passionately alive?"  (The Sacred Romance, 7-8)

Do we have life with a mission, or is our life a mission?  Is it a compartment in our life that we have on the same level as work, bills, and taxes?  Or, does everything come from the mission in our hearts of, one day soon, getting to see our Heavenly Father? 

 

We are given such an amazing gift!  If we live our life with purpose and teach our kids to do the same, we are giving them the same gift!  No drifting, no wondering, no hum-drum selfish joyless existence.  Real direction and meaning!  When you come to know the real, true, Love that God has for us, can we really live any other way and not feel unfulfilled? 

May God bless you today and always as you search for His leading in your life!

 

 

 

Just One Day a Year???

What does this day mean to you? 

Before marriage, it is all lovey-dovey "butterfly flutters", cupid arrows, romantic comedies, flowers, long walks hand in hand, chocolate (ok, it's still about that some!).  It seems as you begin a relationship, everything is funnier, brighter, better!

For Example:
The gooshy feelings you get when you are near them 
The deep sighs from the level of your soul
The starry eyed looks you get and give as you share a milkshake (two straws!)
Being able to talk for hours on the phone about anything
Stopping whatever you are doing in order to answer the phone and talk for hours
Nervous tension when you are going on a date with them that evening
Feeling like a king when you finally put your arm around her at the movies for the first time
Feeling like a queen when he finally puts his arm aroung you at the movies for the first time
Etc...

So, now you've been married for 5, 10, 15, 20+ years.  What happened???  Where in the world did all those feelings go?  What happened to those starry eyed looks and the sweaty nervous hand holding?  When he begins to put his arm around you, are you praying he just used Dial and deodorant?  Has your multi hour long phone calls about nothing turned into to text talk?  ILY CU TTYL...  What went South on this one? 

 

More apt question that is harder to answer, when did we stop trying?  When did the football game, iPhone, iPad, "my show", reading, Facebook, video games, and the like take the place of the one you pledged your life to? 

 

For me, it was when I got comfortable.  I took her for granted, often.  I guess I got caught in a trap that said, "I WIN!  Now I get to revel in my accomplishment and not try anymore..."  Makes me think of a guy sitting on a couch drinking beer and talking about that time 20 years ago when he won the state championship...

 

Honestly, that hurt to write.  When I did try, and I hate to admit this, it would be to see what I could get out of it.

 

"Oh no!  The Family Life Minister acts like this too?  We are all doomed!"  Yup.  Honesty.  It tends to be brutal when it smacks you upside your head.  It is easy to get complacent with love.  It is a daily process to try and love your spouse.  Roses and candy don't always do it when it comes to really loving someone. 

 

Find out how to love them!  Love them when they don't feel lovable!  Make it a point to give them your best!  "Husbands, Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Eph 5:25  Pretty good example.  Give up the "stuff" that comes between you and your spouse.  Work, money, technology, TV, pornography, addictions (alcohol, drugs, food), whatever it is.  Work on loving your spouse in whatever way they need loved and those original feelings will resurface of how much you really want them in your life! 

 

Blessings on you and yours this Holiday!  May it be about more than just the gooshiness of love and truly about the deep love that God taught us in the first place! 

 

p.s. Had to slip this in for Trey and his love of Star Wars!

 

Is God really Big enough for this?

Every time I am cursed with having to go to Walmart, I try to make time to look at the covers of the "newspapers" on display by the checkouts.  Besides Bigfoot being sighted on his honeymoon with Nessie, there are always pictures, rumors, and huge headlines with famous people's names splashed across them.  The usual common themes?  Divorce, physical issues (who looks good in their swimsuit this season and who doesn't), and infidelity.  Many "stars" have been trading spouses and being either chastised or praised for it.

This proves the whole blog....

Why is this such a big deal?  Is this really all there is in life?  Is it about everything physical?  If we aren't happy, we need to eat what we want, sleep around with whomever we please, take what we want, and treat our bodies however we please. 

If you have been married longer than 15 seconds, you have had an issue come up. It's going to happen, so what do you do when it does?  If you don't have enough money to buy yourself a tropical island because you work at 7-11, should you be upset at the government?  If you aren't happy with the way you look due to multiple air brushed models being your ideal, should you go on the Bigfoot Diet?  God is big enough to handle all this stuff.

Psalms 56:3-4, 8-9  3 But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 O God, I praise your word. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?  

8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. 9 On the very day I call to you for help, my enemies will retreat. This I know: God is on my side.
God is already there in ALL of it.  He said He would be and is.  Even when we don't see Him working and don't feel His presence.  It takes a mountain of faith to believe this in the lowest times of your life, marriage, relationships, loss of a loved one.  Even in our deepest pit, when we are His, we will be taken care of.

I am the Lord, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the Lord, and there is no other. Isaiah 45:5

If we focus on God in ALL that we do, what happens?  He takes all the anger, pain, the hurt, and all the sorrow that we give Him.  He doesn't want you to feel like you have to carry it.  He doesn't want you to feel alone with it.  He wants to take care of you. 

Let Him.