Before marriage, it is all lovey-dovey "butterfly flutters", cupid arrows, romantic comedies, flowers, long walks hand in hand, chocolate (ok, it's still about that some!). It seems as you begin a relationship, everything is funnier, brighter, better!
For Example:
The gooshy feelings you get when you are near them
The deep sighs from the level of your soul
The starry eyed looks you get and give as you share a milkshake (two straws!)
Being able to talk for hours on the phone about anything
Stopping whatever you are doing in order to answer the phone and talk for hours
Nervous tension when you are going on a date with them that evening
Feeling like a king when you finally put your arm around her at the movies for the first time
Feeling like a queen when he finally puts his arm aroung you at the movies for the first time
Etc...
So, now you've been married for 5, 10, 15, 20+ years. What happened??? Where in the world did all those feelings go? What happened to those starry eyed looks and the sweaty nervous hand holding? When he begins to put his arm around you, are you praying he just used Dial and deodorant? Has your multi hour long phone calls about nothing turned into to text talk? ILY CU TTYL... What went South on this one?
More apt question that is harder to answer, when did we stop trying? When did the football game, iPhone, iPad, "my show", reading, Facebook, video games, and the like take the place of the one you pledged your life to?
For me, it was when I got comfortable. I took her for granted, often. I guess I got caught in a trap that said, "I WIN! Now I get to revel in my accomplishment and not try anymore..." Makes me think of a guy sitting on a couch drinking beer and talking about that time 20 years ago when he won the state championship...
Honestly, that hurt to write. When I did try, and I hate to admit this, it would be to see what I could get out of it.
"Oh no! The Family Life Minister acts like this too? We are all doomed!" Yup. Honesty. It tends to be brutal when it smacks you upside your head. It is easy to get complacent with love. It is a daily process to try and love your spouse. Roses and candy don't always do it when it comes to really loving someone.
Find out how to love them! Love them when they don't feel lovable! Make it a point to give them your best! "Husbands, Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Eph 5:25 Pretty good example. Give up the "stuff" that comes between you and your spouse. Work, money, technology, TV, pornography, addictions (alcohol, drugs, food), whatever it is. Work on loving your spouse in whatever way they need loved and those original feelings will resurface of how much you really want them in your life!
Blessings on you and yours this Holiday! May it be about more than just the gooshiness of love and truly about the deep love that God taught us in the first place!
p.s. Had to slip this in for Trey and his love of Star Wars!
